8:57 a.m. We’re arriving late as a result of several last minute wardrobe changes to mother’s clothes—including the replacement of the pearl necklace for the seashell crucifix befitting the end of the Easter season. So our seating options are limited. We must choose between the elderly Johnsons who are biding their time here on the…
Author: mhawley3992
How to Break Up With Your Therapist
Everyone should be in therapy. That’s just a fact. If you haven’t been, you will. And if you never do, you’re likely either one of those rare, well-adjusted folk who are too unbearably normal to hang out with or more likely you are one of those people everyone whispers about behind your back could truly…
AirBnB Host Review: Stockholm Syndrome Sanctuary
(4.5 out of 5 stars) Amidst the recent turbulence in our relationship, this beach house getaway was exactly what my girlfriend and I needed. I would highly recommend this Airbnb location to any guy who needs to escape into an aquatic oasis, put some closure on a relationship, or fondly remember why he has developed…
My Best Friend’s Boyfriend Criticized Me For Being “Too Gay”
Last week for the first time I caused the breakup of a relationship that wasn’t my own. Well, that might not be true. It was the first one I was aware of. Who knew how many times my inappropriate comments, questionable dance moves, or roadie-like fandom of Cinnabon had strained the relationships around me? My…
How to Break Up With Your Therapist
Everyone should be in therapy. That’s just a fact. If you haven’t been, you will. And if you never go, you’re likely either one of those rare, well-adjusted folk who are too unbearably normal to hang out with or more likely you are one of those people everyone whispers about behind your back could truly…
It’s All About Sex, Says Christianity
It’s All About Sex, Says Christianity In the wake of the tragedy in Orlando a few weeks ago, the nation has tried to evaluate how these horrific happenings keep occurring. Many talked about ISIS and terrorism. Many talked about stricter gun control legislation. Still others talked about the inherent bigotry against the LGBT community that…
Gay, Catholic, and Proud
It’s that time of year again. The beginning of summer marks the time of year when every major city hosts its LGBT Pride Parade. The cities will explode in a malatov cocktail combination of pink confetti, diva music, and pinatas filled with condoms. Or so I’ve heard. For the first time I will be participating…
Five Holiday Drinking Lessons My Mom Taught Me
It’s getting to be that time of year: the holidays. Most friends my age started complaining weeks ago about the dreaded time back home when they are forced to spend time with their families. The old trope of a ruined Thanksgiving due to political divides between children and parents or the racially insensitive undertones of…
12 Things That Are Actually Awkward
“And so I stood there waiting for the guy to bring me back my grande caramel macchiato, but then I saw a different guy go to get my muffin. So I didn’t know who was working on my order and it was just awkward. I didn’t know where to wait and I still hadn’t paid…
Cemetery Ice Cream
“What about these?” I turned around to see she was wearing the largest leopard-skinned glasses in the store. I gawked. “Mom, I’m fine with a hint of my homosexuality, but I don’t want a billboard announcing it.” We started cackling. We kept trying on pairs, the more ridiculous the better. At some point we realized…
Fullest House: The Joys of My Autistic Household
April is Autism Awareness Month. About 1 percent of the world’s population falls somewhere on the autism spectrum. People with autism are everywhere. For example, your physics professor could have it. That girl on the subway? Maybe (though it’s less likely in females). What about your boyfriend who’s not looking you in the eye? Nope, he’s just weak and trying to break…
7 Reasons Your Mom Becomes Your Ultimate BFF Once You Grow Up
When you’re a young adult, Mother’s Day takes on two new meanings. First, you are now officially responsible for celebrating your mom. There’s no longer that business of your dad buying a card that you sign. You now have a pay check. You know it, and more importantly, she knows it. You have to get…
The GING Life 